Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

  • Body:Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
  • Me:Please, god, no--
  • Ovaries:ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
  • Brain:I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
  • Me:Please, guys, calm down--
  • Face:TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
  • Brain:And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
  • Torso:Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
  • Me:STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
  • Stomach:lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
  • Me:I hate you all
  • Brain:I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
  • Face:Lol, i'm not done yet.
  • Uterus:what did i ever do to deserve this?
  • Brain:you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
  • Uterus:You mother fuckers.
  • Torso:CONTRACT!
  • Me:I quit being female, I am now a llama.
  • Brain:Me gusta.

Source: haleybeast